Hector Lavoe wants you to dance

Seltzer? Salsa? I made salsa? Yes. The answer is yes. I like salsa sweet, so I use lots of fruit. This bad boy also has a kick, so do not come with the mild jazz because I will reject you and tell you to get out of my house.

Salsa
1 medium onion, diced
5 cloves garlic
1 small shallot, diced
1 nectarine, pitted and cut in large pieces
4 plum tomatoes, seeded and cut in quarters
1 heirloom tomato, seeded and cut in quarters
1 poblano pepper, halved
1 28 oz can Colavita crushed tomatoes
1 champagne mango
1 kiwi, peeled
1 scotch bonnet pepper, seeded
5 Thai hot peppers, stemmed
1 lime

1. In a large skillet, heat olive oil over medium and add onion. After a couple of minutes, add 3 cloves minced garlic and shallot. After a few more minutes, add the nectarine and mango. After the fruit has softened slightly, add the tomatoes and half of the poblano pepper, which you damn better well have chopped. After everything has softened, remove from heat and let cool.

2. In a large food processor bowl, add the peeled and sliced kiwi, seeded scotch bonnet, Thai hot peppers, juice from the lime and the can of crushed tomatoes. Add the cooled contents of the skillet and let the processor go until salsa is like a thick smoothie.

Let cool in the fridge or eat right away.