I am a failure.

You know how they say that when life gives you overripe bananas, go punch yourself in the face-ade? Well that's what I did. But instead of punching myself in the face, I tried to make two Baking Bites recipes. One was a marbled banana bundt cake and the other peanut butter banana cookies. I say "tried" because I failed. I have no one to blame but myself and my STUPID BUNDT PAN. Hey bundt pan, go pound some tar. I hate you and your stupid bundt face and I wish you were never my bundt pan. In fact, you're adopted. Yeah, my sister didn't want you because she got a new, better bundt pan and gave me her old one. YOU ARE SO OLD AND STUPID.

Anyway, the cake was delightfully moist. Yet despite my usual kickass greasing job, only half the cake came out of the pan, causing a seismic rift in the cake's bundty heart. It's like LA after the big one hits except with a more delicate crumb. Take a look at this bad boy:



And then the cookies. I added chocolate chips because banana and peanut butter and chocolate give me the strength of Batman and the intelligence of Superman. How is that even possible? My doctor tells me genetic mutation, which is why he told me not to eat chocolate and banana and peanut butter. Anyway, I'm sure the recipe is fine, but I overcooked them a bit, so they turned out on the dry side.

I am a bad person.

Both recipes courtesy of Baking Bites:

Marbled Banana Bundt Cake
1/2 cup butter, room temperature
1 1/2 cups sugar
3 large eggs
1 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
3 ripe, medium bananas, mashed (about 1 cup)
2 cups all purpose flour
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1 cup sour cream (low fat is fine)
1/4 cup cocoa powder, sifted

Preheat oven to 350F and lightly grease a 12-cup bundt pan (12-inch diameter).
In a large bowl, cream together butter and sugar until light. Beat in the eggs one by one, waiting until each has been incorporated to add the next. Beat in vanilla extract and mashed bananas.
In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt. Add half of the flour mixture to the butter mix and stir to combine. Add in the sour cream, followed by the remaining flour mixture.
Remove 1 1/2 cups of batter into a small bowl and stir in cocoa powder.
Pour 2/3 of the plain batter into the prepared bundt pan, top with cocoa batter and spoon the rest of the plain batter on top. Run a knife through the batter gently to swirl.
Bake for 45-55 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center of the cake comes out clean and the top springs back when lightly pressed.
Turn cake out onto a wire rack to cool completely before slicing.

Serve plain, or dusted with powdered sugar.

Serves 12-16.

Peanut Butter Banana Oatmeal Cookies

1 cup all purpose flour
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup sugar
2 tbsp butter, room temperature
1 large egg
1/2 cup peanut butter
1/4 cup mashed banana (from 1 sm/med)
1 1/2 cups quick-cooking rolled oats (not instant)
1/2 c. chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 350F. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper.
In a medium bowl, whisk together flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt.
In a large bowl, cream together sugars and butter. Beat in egg until smooth, then mix in the peanut butter and mashed banana. Working by hand or with a mixer on low speed, blend dry ingredients into the peanut butter mixture. Stir in the oats.

Shape dough into tablespoons and place on baking sheet, flattening each slightly with your fingers.
Bake for 10-12 minutes, until cookies just begin to turn golden around the edges.
Cool on a wire rack.

Makes approx 2 dozen.